Talk writing progress Emoji

I’ve given some conference talks and keynotes over the past years, and I usually put lots of time into them (I wrote about how I prepare and write talks in this post).

So I want to document my writing process now – because what you see when a person delivers a talk is only a fraction of what they learned while writing it. Plus, what you see on stage is often the result of long struggles, thoughts about giving up, and many doubts and self-questioning, – all wrapped in some nice slides and brightly lighted on a stage. This page also aims to make this a bit more transparent. (Also, writing talks can sometimes be a very lonely experience. So this way, at least I get to talk to myself in public. And I get to use Emoji. ?✨)

Please don’t use this as advice on “how to write talks”. Please. I mean it. ❤️

Currently tracked in this document: Talk 1, Talk 2.

Talk 1: Works On My Machine, or the Problem is between Keyboard and Chair

Talk details:

The talk is about debugging, why the tech industry is a system full of bugs, and what we can do to debug it. Full abstract is here.
I’ll give the talk for the first time on May 13 at JSConf Budapest.
The talk is supposed to be 30mins long (that’s around 3,600-3,900 words for my speaking rate).
14 days before the event, I hear that it will be the closing talk for the event. This is cool, but AAAAAAH.

Talk Progress

“t-xyz” is the number of days till I give the talk for the first time. Latest update is on the bottom.

? t-87: Initial research on debugging techniques. Put together 4 pages of research, got super frustrated, close the document. Wonder why I even proposed this topic in the first place. Bad idea.
? t-66: Ok, I have to do at least something. I decide to skip the debugging topic altogether for now, and start with the other part of the talk about the tech industry.
? t-65: Wrote 3,000 words yesterday. That escalated quickly.
? t-60: Re-wrote my talk structure list, this time with many details on all main topics and sub-topics. This should help.
? t-55: Only managed to write 200 words today. Not making progress right now. Still no idea about debugging. Frustrated.
? t-54: Wrote many more words (1,000?). Talk is way too long already. BUT IT’S ALL IMPORTANT.
☺️ t-52: Had a fantastic idea while washing the dishes. Forced myself to look into the debugging topic again. Realised: idea works. I can make this work.
? t-51: I CAN’T MAKE THIS WORK.
? t-48: But I have to make this work.
? t-47: Drawing Keynote graphics like there’s no tomorrow.
? t-40: Finished initial version of the talk. Exactly 7,489 words long, which means that it’s more than twice as long as it’s supposed to be. Target: 3,900 words.
? t-39: Ahahahahahaha.
? t-38: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO REMOVE. EVERYTHING IS IMPORTANT.
? t-37: Deleted everything. So, no, not really. But moved my stuff to a new document, and only took the stuff with me that’s actually important.
? t-36: Initial version number 2 of the talk is done. 5,200 words.
? t-34: Debugging sucks. At least I only have to talk about it.
✍️ t-28: Removed some stuff over the past days. Still too long. No idea what to kick out. Start building slides.
⛈ t-27: Spent one afternoon choosing a color scheme for my slides (and downloading 20 fonts to try out). Why does this happen every single time.
? t-26: Slide design done.
t-25: Wrote all slides. Drew all the Keynote graphics.
? t-24: PANIC MODE STARTS.
? t-23: PANIC
? t-22: PANIC
? t-21: I’M GOING TO FAIL THIS WILL BE THE MOST HORRIBLE TALK ANYONE HAS EVER PRESENTED.
? t-20: I CAN’T DO THIS.
? t-19: BUT I HAVE TO DO THIS.
? t-18: I add my fully written talk to my slides as presenter notes. Remove more content.
? t-17: Down to 3,900 words. BOOM!
? t-16: Up to 4,100 words again. Damn it.
? t-15: Rehearse the talk for the first time. During rehearsal, I add “!!” to every slide where I need to change things. “!!” is in every slide. Also, down to 3,900 words again.
? t-14: Made all changes. Back up to 4,300 words. Rehearsing again. I hate this talk already. I don’t even want to hear myself speak anymore.
? t-13: Get slide feedback. Change slides. Panic again.
⚡️ t-12: Had a fantastic idea for the talk while cleaning my flat. Then I noticed that the idea needs to go into Talk 2. This is too confusing for me. Also: I panicked kind of in public in a Slack, and people said very nice things to me. I don’t believe any of it was true, but it was nice (and they people are awesome).
? t-11: Changed one sentence 5 times today and it’s still not good. Decided to stop it for today and work on Talk 2 instead.
? t-10: Cooked pasta, took a photo. Yes, it’s for the talk.
? t-6: Focused on Talk 2 over the past days. Bad idea. Rehearsal today didn’t go well AT ALL. Completely changed the order of my talk parts. Super afraid rn.
? t-5: Got helpful feedback. Still afraid. Feeling very “not sure if win” today.
? t-4: I feel like every time I rehearse the talk, I make more changes.
?❤️?✨? t+1: Gave the talk. Still not completely sure about it, and mostly happy that it’s over. But I got some very nice feedback, that helped. I’ll add the video here when it’s online.

***

Talk 2: EXISTING IN THE TECH INDUSTRY: HOW TO COPE WITH THE PRESSURE OF A FAST-PACED ENVIRONMENT

TALK DETAILS:

The talk is about existing in the tech industry – why it can be difficult, and what we can do. Full abstract is here.
I’ll give the talk for the first time on on June 01 at CSSConf NO. It will be closing the event.
The talk is supposed to be 30mins long (that’s around 3,600-3,900 words for my speaking rate).

TALK PROGRESS

“t-xyz” is the number of days till I give the talk for the first time. Latest update is on the bottom.

? t-60: I have a great feeling about this.
? t-50: Over the past weeks, I’ve already collected around 30 links to resources that I’d like to put into the talk. I just dumped them into a note whenever I found something. Now I open a new document and copy-paste them there. Then I don’t know what to do next. Great start.
? t-49: I stare at the links for 30mins, then give up. Going great.
? t-45: I write a two pages long list that contains the complete talk structure – main topics, subtopics. This feels great.
? t-44: Write the intro and write the first content for some subtopics. Found even more resources. I get a feeling that this talk is going to be way too long. Also: somehow super exhausted already. Maybe this whole topic hits a bit too close to home.
? t-43: Write more, read a few of my resources. Right now, I like this talk way more than Talk 1 (but don’t tell Talk 1).
? t-42: Write more. End up crying, because it hurts talking about this stuff.
? t-40: Took a break yesterday and watched comedy shows to distract myself.
? t-39: Continued by working on another, easier part. Still: all the feels.
? t-38: Worked on the talk all day until midnight. Great progress. Don’t even have half the content in it, but at least it’s already 500 words too long. Awesome!
? t-36: Moved everything to a new document. I neededto make a cut. Decide to cut out everything from the first part of the talk, and only add a summary of it. For the first time since I started speaking, I’ll put the whole Director’s Cut of the talk online before I give it, and will give the audience a shortlink. Director’s Cut will include all resources and everything I had to remove. Feeling relieved after making this decision. A+.
? t-35: Wrote that summary. Summary is still 50% of the talk. Panic sets in.
? t-34: Solid progress. Wrote more, found a good new angle for something.
? t-33: Wrote 200 words. Yeay, me. MORE PANIC.
? t-32: Talk is still 6,126 words long. Oops.
? t-31: Nevermind! Had a great new idea for a twist in the talk. Doing research on it. Adding it. Will worry about talk length problem later. (Note to Future Me: this is what you’ll get angry about in a few days.)
? t-30: At least I have a slide design I can re-use \o/ Removing lots of stuff again. I still have 5 topics in there that I’d like to discuss, but will most likely have to kick out ? Next up: adding all speaker notes to my slides. Later tonight, or tomorrow.
?? t-29: Everything is crap, but at least I have banana bread.
? t-28: Last night, I thought about kicking out my first main section of the talk (which is 50% of the talk). Still thinking about it. Also, almost finished slide design (of course I ended up not re-using design from Talk 1). And it’s pretty nice (which will probably not keep me from completely changing it tomorrow). ALSO: Reached target word count. HELL YES. ?
? t-27: Gave up. Looked for music scores instead. Found nice ones. Off to making music. ??
☕️ t-27, pt. 2: That ? was last night (and the “off to playing” was a lie). Now over-caffeinated and panicking. First run-through starting now. ? … and made me realise I had to re-write the perspective of the talk. Which I did. Then rehearsed again. Getting there. (But still huge doubts about the whole topic and approach. Ugh. ?) Also, I think I’ll take a break from all talks tomorrow. Talk 1 is due next week, and I can’t keep on panicking like this.
☎️? t-15: Gave Talk 1 last week and had to take a break from working on this one. Had a great call with someone about the talk, and they gave super helpful feedback. Did a run-through afterwards, and I feel okay-ish about it? Still not sure if it’s too superficial though.
??? t-8: More feedback from Jenn, who also copy-edited it (Jenn is the best ?). Another run-through. Not feeling confident, but can’t change that anymore. Now almost off to giving Talk 1 again, so no time to really panic.
⚠️? t-3: OOOPS. Time! Another run-through and adding “!!” to all parts that needed changes. Ended up with 33 times “!!”. Fixed everything. Changed talk dynamics. Also: packed my stuff. Leaving my place to travel to Oslo in 13hrs.